


to be so lonely

by g0ldendays



Category: Formula 2 RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: Gen, contains mentions of Spa 2019, dinner date finally happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26465659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g0ldendays/pseuds/g0ldendays
Summary: Jüri isn't surprised when he gets the notification Juan's replied to his Instagram post. He usually does, but today he'd already congratulated Jüri on his podium via text.
Relationships: Juan Manuel Correa/Jüri Vips
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fully based on that comment by Juan on Jüri's instagram post. It's a fic writing itself at this point.
> 
> As stated in the tags, this fic contains mentions of Spa 2019. I've always maintained I don't want to use it as a plot point because it was a real tragedy with actual consequences and this is just fiction, so it's nothing in depth. It does not mention Anthoine nor any details of the crash, nor anything Juan has said about his experience of the crash. Regardless of that, proceed with caution.
> 
> Would like to add that I don't know if America is currently allowing people from Europe in or not, I can't even keep up with my own country these days so for the sake of the story please pretend Jüri's allowed into the USA. Also, I don't explicitly write romance but this is one of those 'fill in for yourself' type of relationships where more could be implied so I felt like it warranted the relationship tag for once.

Jüri isn't surprised when he gets the notification Juan's replied to his Instagram post. He usually does, but today he'd already congratulated Jüri on his podium via text. A chuckle escapes him when he reads it, but for some reason it also makes him a bit emotional all of a sudden. It's silly because he saw Juan not even two weeks ago, but it's strange not to be in the same place as his best friend most of the time, like they were last year. He's not allowing himself to go there, to think about last year. Time has passed and he knows his best friend is doing okay, recovering well, but it's still not something he wants to think about. And yet his brain is dragging up memories now with a mild flash of anxiety, a weak copy of the real, all consuming panic he felt seeing his best friend's car upside down.

His phone rings. Jüri doesn't even have to look at the caller ID to know it's Juan and answers on the second ring. "Hey stranger," a familiar voice he knows better than his own says in his ear.

It takes some of the weight off his heart. "Hey you," he replies. There's a split second silence and Jüri knows he sounds a bit off, knows Juan can tell. "You're pretending we haven't seen each other in a year."

Juan huffs on the other side. "I just wanted to check on my favourite Formula 2 podium finisher and this is what I get?"

"Aw, I'm your favourite?" Jüri teases. "I thought you were better friends with Louis."

"Like you don't know." 

Jüri does know he's Juan's favourite but to be honest, he likes the confirmation occasionally. "So, dinner?" he asks. "I thought I'd have to pay if I missed 5 apexes." 

Juan chuckles. "Usually I'd say yes, but you got a podium so just this once, you're excused and I'll pay." Jüri's question of _when_ remains the big elephant in the room. He'll be busy for the rest of the year, if he's allowed into Japan, and Juan's back in Miami. They're quite literally half a world apart at this point. Jüri regrets not going to dinner with him when they were both in Spa, because lord knows when they'll be in the same place again. Hell, lord knows when they'll be in the same country again. It's difficult, not knowing when he'll get to see his best friend again, even more so after- no, he's not going there. This isn't 2019, he didn't wreck his car taking too much risk in Monza, didn't blow his championship hopes this time around. 

He's been silent for a beat too long but Juan doesn't seem to mind. They did catch up in Spa, short stolen moments in between sessions when Jüri was able to sneak away to the Prema tent but the Dams mechanics barely let him out of their sight. Understandable - he was just a substitute for Sean in a new car with new quirks, though not quite unlike the F3 car, he needed all the instructions he could get. But to be so close to his best friend for the first time in ages and not be able to spend all his time with him? It sucked.

Now he's definitely been silent for too long. "What's on your mind?" Juan asks.

"Everything," is what Jüri ends up saying. It's vague at best but it does sum up how he's feeling right now. It's not quite the weight of the world on his shoulders but it's up there. Super license points, trying to get into Japan, learning a whole new car with zero testing, the pressure from Red Bull, trying to keep up with his friends and family, he could go on for days. 

"Will you be able to get into Japan?" Juan asks and Jüri lets out a hollow chuckle. 

"Not really. We've been trying for ages, we got the Estonian government to contact Japan but it's useless. They're not making an exception and I can't say I blame them. What's racing compared to a pandemic?" It's nothing in comparison. It's just Jüri's career that depends on it, but that doesn't quite warrant an exception. 

"How do you feel about a holiday getaway after Sochi?"

"Are you inviting me over?"

Juan laughs. It's always been a great sound but Jüri finds he enjoys it even more these days. "I thought I was being subtle but I guess I'm not. Yes, you're invited over to Miami anytime. Fair warning, I think my mom is a bit too excited to see you again so you might end up hugged to death or your trainer is going to hate you when you return." 

"Bold of you to assume I mind getting hugs and good food for once," is Jüri's reply. He loves spending time with the Correas, always has. He's pretty sure he's the honorary fourth Correa child at this point. 

They chat for a while longer until Jüri finds himself yawning increasingly more often and Juan tells him to go to bed. Jüri promises to call more often, Juan laughs at him and says he'll call instead because Jüri always forgets. The silence of his hotel room rings in his ears when he no longer has Juan filling it and it's difficult to fall asleep, even if he's tired as hell. But visiting Miami is something he can look forward to, even if Japan doesn't work out. His entire racing career might be down the drain, Red Bull might drop him because of it, but a visit to Juan and his family is a little beacon of light to cling onto. Dramatic as it sounds.

* * *

Sochi is... rather uneventful. Jüri manages to score more points for the team but it's not the result he would've wanted. After a red flag in qualifying before he could improve his laptime, it was always going to be a difficult weekend. He's never satisfied with anything less than a win anyway. On the Monday after, he gets a call telling him it'll be impossible to get him into Japan for the next month and he feels any hopes he had for Super Formula fly out the window. He could afford to skip 2 races, as they, for some reason, have the rule that the results from your worst 2 races will be dropped. But any more and it'll be extremely difficult to compete for the championship and more importantly, the super license points.

Without thinking, he books a flight to Miami and texts Juan when he will be arriving. He's not sure if he has to stand in for Sean in Bahrain as well, but that's not until late November and aside from waiting for Japan to allow him in, he doesn't have much more to do anyway. He's missed too much of Formula Regional to be eligible for the championship by now as well. 2020 is not going well for him.

* * *

It's a long flight and at a shitty hour in the morning, too. But to be honest, Jüri doesn't mind too much for once. He's never been the biggest fan of flying, especially not long flights, even if it's a big part of the job, but with the destination in mind, it's not so bad. He lands at 9 in the morning local time, tired as hell but excited for the holiday ahead. He's staying for 10 days - too short in his opinion - so they have plenty of time to catch up, hang out and get some proper dinner. And they won't be disturbed by impatient mechanics this time. 

He's still not used to seeing Juan in a wheelchair. His best friend's waiting for him right outside the gate. Jüri can tell from his eyes he's got a big grin on his face and he can't help but copy it. Juan stands up when he's almost there and when Jüri lets himself be wrapped up in his arms, it feels like home. "Long time no see," Juan says, amusement clear in his voice. He still has his arms around Jüri.

"Shut up," Jüri replies as he finally lets go. Not that he wants to, but because they're at an airport and they've definitely already hugged for longer than would be normal in public. That's just the effect Juan has on him.

Juan laughs as he retakes his seat in his wheelchair. "Let's go, my mom is itching to feed you something good and my siblings are too excited to see you." Yeah, it definitely feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so they didn't end up actually going to dinner but it did inspire this entire fic. This fic is more of a self-indulgent emotional support fic than a plot but I hope u enjoyed it anyway!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a vision of Juan to Prema and that actually tied in really nicely with the rest of this fic, so second chapter it is. I had to make some assumptions about Jüri and his family since I know literally nothing about his family so
> 
> ✨ improvise, overcome, adapt ✨
> 
> Anyway, this is fiction and speculation so don't take me at my word. ~~But if Juan does end up in Prema I predicted it so remember that sdkjfg~~

It's all so instantly familiar to Jüri, visiting the Correa home and getting a very enthusiastic welcome. He hasn't seen Juan's family in a while, only heard things about them from Juan on the phone, but the warm welcome he gets puts aside any worries he may have had about it. He comments on how Juan's little sister has really grown since the last time he saw her, how Juan's little brother looks all grown up, and he gets those same comments from Juan's parents. Has he been eating enough? How's lockdown been? He hasn't been feeling lonely, has he? It's everything he's used to from them and yet it moves him all the same. Jüri doesn't see his own family a lot, especially not now, and while it's strange to fall right into a family as close as the Correas, it's also good.

"Sorry about that," Juan chuckles as they head to the guest room. "They're a bit much." His tone is fond, though, and he knows Jüri doesn't mind all the fussing. Jüri doesn't have to tell him it's fine because Juan knows that, so instead he settles for following his best friend down the hall with his suitcase. Juan walks more inside the house, having left his wheelchair in the living room. It's still with some assistance from a cane but it's progress and Jüri has to say he's relieved to see it. "What's on your mind?" Juan asks without looking back, clearly having sensed Jüri's thinking deeply about something.

"A lot of things," Jüri ends up saying. Most of it, Juan already knows and he doesn't wanna bring down the mood by mentioning his leg or the cane. Juan looks at him then, notices his eyes flick down to the cane for a split second and then back up to meet Juan's.

"You know I'm okay, right?" Juan sends Jüri a reassuring smile and suddenly, he can't meet Juan's eyes anymore so he looks down at the floor. He's not the one who had a life changing accident and yet here he is, having to be reassured. He knows Juan is okay, will be okay, but it's not the same and it won't ever be the same again. It's weird. And he doesn't like it. And then Juan's right in front of him and forces Jüri to look at him. He's still taller than Jüri, has been since they first met and Juan's always liked to tease Jüri about it. There's a lot Jüri wants to say but nothing comes out so instead he just lets Juan hug him until his chest feels a little less constricted. "So, dinner?" Juan says above him and Jüri just smacks him on the arm.

* * *

They do go to dinner that evening, a sushi restaurant Juan apparently frequents and Jüri has no complaints about sushi. Juan orders a glass of wine without hesitation and Jüri thinks about it for a second - he doesn't have to race anytime soon and they're taking an Uber home - and orders one as well. "So," Juan starts through a mouthful of sushi. "I have something fun to tell you."

Jüri raises an eyebrow because, unlike Juan, he wasn't raised in a barn and doesn't speak with his mouth full. He has to wait for Juan to finish his bite first, though. "What is it?" he says impatiently and Juan laughs.

"I might be having some chats."

"Chats about what?" Jüri's a little confused and a little slow understanding what Juan means. Hey, for all he knows he's in talks with a dentist or a graphic designer.

Juan gives him a pointed look and then rolls his eyes. "Sometimes I wonder how you understand a car at all," he mumbles. "Chats about a seat, you dumbass. Formula 2, car goes fast, racing?"

Jüri reaches across the table to try and smack him but Juan leans back just in time. "I know what a seat is, I just didn't know you meant that! But that's great, you'll be back in a car next year then?"

Juan nods, stuffing another piece of sushi in his mouth. "That's the plan, yeah. The doctors think that's reasonable at the rate my leg's recovering and I've been training so I should be good when the frame goes off."

"That's good, that's really good," Jüri says enthusiastically, nearly knocking over his third glass of wine in the process. "Any teams in particular or is that too early to say?"

Juan grins. "Technically I'm not allowed to say anything but I can make an exception for you since you won't tell anyone." Definitely true, Jüri knows far too many embarrassing stories about Juan he could easily share, but he would never. Besides, Juan has too many embarrassing stories about Jüri too. "It's Prema."

Jüri can't help his reaction when he gets all wide-eyed and drops a chopstick. "Prema?" He's not sure why he's whispering but it is delicate information. Who knows, anyone in the restaurant could be a journalist looking for gossip and rumours. Not that many people care about the F2 rumour mill, but that's a sidenote. 

"Yeah, I spoke to Rene when I stayed with the team in Belgium and told him about my intentions to return to Formula 2, and it started rolling from there."

Jüri's always liked Juan in red and Prema's a championship winning and fighting team. He knows, because he lost out to them in Formula 3 last year and they're at the front this year in Formula 2. "That'd be great," he says, earnestly. It's definitely more than he could've hoped for after last year.

* * *

They're both tipsy from all the wine and giggling about nothing when they catch the Uber back home. It's not even that late yet, but Juan follows Jüri to the guest room to 'make sure he gets home safely' and ends up lying down in the middle of Jüri's temporary bed. "Move your lazy ass over, I wanna go to bed," Jüri complains. 

"Too comfy," Juan protests, but ends up moving over to one side anyway. They're both gonna have a headache in the morning and Juan will regret sleeping in his day clothes when he wakes up, but Jüri finds that, right now, he doesn't really care. All he cares about is having his best friend close - and he won't tell a soul that he woke up at 3AM to find Juan pretty much asleep on his chest. They're okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing more will be added, this is the final part of this fic! Thank u for reading 💜


End file.
